When Mom refuses support to care for spouse with Alzheimer’s
Many times I have seen family circumstances that leave an elderly person to personally manage all the caregiving for his or her spouse with dementia.
Even when extended family members are supportive, they no longer know how they can provide help. It seems useless to offer support when all such offers are consistently declined. The caregiver may be defensive, wondering why family seems to suggest she can’t cope any longer.
The caregiver hopes the day-to-day can continue to be managed, even if things are progressively getting more demanding. She or he may deny that life has changed beyond anyone’s ability to provide the amount of care required. And the options may seem overwhelming. Or contemplating different care options may simply seem beyond the scope of what the exhausted caregiver has the energy to deal with by the end of the day.
Often we see seniors who just can’t seem to accept that the extent of their abilities falls short of what actually is required to remain independent. Not that they may not be cognitively sound, or that they are no longer physically able, it is that some combination of their mental and physical abilities creates risks — including the premature loss of one’s independence, a loss of dignity, and physical injuries.
More often than not, it takes an objective, professional outsider to help a caregiver take a second look at his or her situation. Mom or Dad often feel less reserved about sharing their struggles and fears with someone other than family.
Arcadia Home Care has talked to many elderly couples about the need to accept some support at home. Give us a call to discuss your concerns. We would love to help you talk to your loved ones about the help they need.